Ramadan: Refueling for the Marathon, with Tesneem Alkiek

Our team had the opportunity to interview Sr. Tesneem Alkiek, Director of Expanded Learning at Yaqeen Institute for Islamic Research, about preparing ourselves for a sincere and transformative Ramadan that can remain with us throughout the year. This interview has been edited and condensed for readability.

Tesneem Alkiek is completing her PhD in Islamic Studies at Georgetown University with a focus on the development of Islamic law, concentrating on harm in marriage and divorce. Her work at Yaqeen involves creating curricula and other resources to help communities engage with their research in a digestible and interactive manner.

Question: What should our intention look like as we prepare to fast the month of Ramadan sincerely?

Fasting is something that is very intimate between you and Allah (ﷻ). There’s no way anyone can know whether you are or you’re not fasting unless you openly admit to it. Fasting is an act of worship that has sincerity inherently embedded within the act itself. You’re doing it for Allah (ﷻ) and for Allah (ﷻ) alone. I think that’s something that we can really focus on when fasting in Ramadan, especially during quarantine. You’re put in the situation where it’s black and white; either you’re going to do it or you’re not. Making the decision to fast, especially when there’s zero opportunity for people to judge you, is an incredible step forward and it is really reflective of your sincerity.

Ramadan is a really beautiful opportunity to build your relationship with Allah (ﷻ) because it is very straightforward; you do what you’re told, and you get the ajr (reward) for it. A large part of it is not complicating the process, and sincerely making that intention to Allah (ﷻ). Saying “Ya Allah (ﷻ), I’m here. Ramadan is about to start. I’m going to fast the entire month, despite the struggles that I’ve experienced this past year and despite the struggle that I’m going to face this upcoming month. I’m going to do it for your sake.” Allah (ﷻ) is providing us with opportunities to come closer to Him. If we have a simple and sincere intention, that will take us really far. 

Question: How can we do a better job assessing the changes we need to make on a personal level to make the most of our Ramadan?

First, you need to identify if you’re someone who’s prone to self-doubt, or on the other side, someone who needs a little push to be able to get things done. Start with assessing where you are now in terms of your acts of worship, and see what sort of bubbles you want to be able to fill in during this upcoming Ramadan. Say, for example, you pray five times a day but you don’t pray any Sunnah (voluntary, recommended) prayers. Maybe you don’t pray Salat-ul Duha (voluntary prayer between the Fajr and Dhuhr prayers), or tahajjud (voluntary night prayers) frequently and you find them very challenging. 

Think about your day-to-day life prior to Ramadan. Then, see how you can take an extra step during Ramadan. If you want to be able to pray Salat-ul Duha¹ before Dhuhr every single day in Ramadan, you should have a way to personally gauge your progress. You’re not comparing yourself to anyone else. You’re only comparing yourself to who you are now and how you can be a better person by the end of Ramadan. Focus on habit-building and not necessarily attaining absolute perfection. The point of Ramadan is not to perfect all of your acts, but to slowly develop ways to improve your relationship with Allah (ﷻ), and there’s no end point to that. Think of it as putting the focus on climbing up a ladder, rather than reaching the top.

Question: How do we maintain consistency and sincerity throughout Ramadan? Some people start the month off strong but then begin to fall short during the middle and the end.

Think about Ramadan as preparing you for a marathon. I’m very much about the consistency rule. You want to do something that’s manageable so you can carry out that goal after Ramadan. Think about what Ramadan has meant to you, what you’ve been able to achieve in past Ramadans, what your situation looks like now, and especially how that’s changed during quarantine. 

When you have your goals, tell yourself, “Whatever my ambitious goal is, I’m gonna do exactly half of that.” If you say you’re going to memorize a page of Qur’an a day, make your goal to memorize a half page a day. What’s going to happen is that you’re going to get to day one of Ramadan and you’ve got so much energy and so much excitement that you end up memorizing a whole page. The next day, you feel amazing because not only did you meet your goal, but you went above and beyond. That really helps feed your energy levels. 

By the fifteenth day, because you’ve set goals that are so manageable and you’re constantly exceeding them, you feel that pride. You have that minimal goal that’s going to brighten up your day, re-energize you for the coming days, and get you through Ramadan and the remainder of the year. There’s a hadith, that was applied by Prophet (ﷺ) as well, that says that the best of actions to Allah (ﷻ) are those that are consistent, even if they’re small.² This is something you can live by, whether you’re talking about your spiritual goals, your professional goals, or your family goals.

Small, consistent deeds are more valuable to Allah (ﷻ) than binge-worshipping, which is a beautiful reminder. Appreciating what something small can look like in the eyes of Allah (ﷻ) is really important and can help you build upon your habits to eventually achieve goals that you had never even intended.

Question: How should we handle sinning or going back to old bad habits during Ramadan? How do we prevent them from demotivating us for the rest of the month?

There can be a feeling of guilt, like, “Wow,  this must really be who I am, because if shaytaan (the devil) is not here³, then maybe I’m just a terrible person.” It’s important to remember that this is never something that is purely unique to you as an individual. Taking that entire blame on yourself is extremely dangerous, and you don’t need to do it. As for just making regular mistakes, I think that our culture today is very ‘go big or go home.’ Let’s think about the concept of New Year’s resolutions.  Are you only going to start changing on January 1st? If you miss that deadline, do you have to wait until next year? No. I made a mistake today, but tomorrow is going to be a new day.

Allah (ﷻ) praises the people who immediately do istighfar (seeking God’s forgiveness) after recognizing they’ve committed a sin. He (ﷻ) refers to them as some of the most righteous believers.⁴ Having that mentality in mind, knowing that you’re in the month of Ramadan where you’re regularly begging for mercy and forgiveness, if you make that mistake and ask for forgiveness, it’s almost immediately going to be forgiven, bi idhnillah (God-willing). 

Also, keep the mentality in mind that if I make a mistake, it’s not going to define the rest of my month. It’s not going to define who I am, and it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m a terrible person. If there’s any month to make mistakes and expect forgiveness, it would be the month of Ramadan. Keeping Allah’s (ﷻ) mercy at the forefront is going to hopefully motivate you to continue asking Him for forgiveness and make it a habit to do so when you make a mistake, and then start afresh immediately after.

Question: What are the things that we should try to take away from Ramadan and implement in our lives after it’s over? How can we do this given the COVID restrictions in some places?

Similarly to what you do in preparation for Ramadan, think to yourself, “What are those actions that really make me to feel close to Allah (ﷻ)?” For some people, waking up in the middle of the night and praying is the most transformative experience. For others, it’s being able to listen or read and understand the tafseer (exegesis, or explanation) of the Qur’an. Think about those experiences as you’re going through the month. Identify what you really enjoy and set a consistent goal based on that. Make it something that you feel passionate about and set that yearly goal for that. And then, for everything else, set the ambitious goal so you’re always pushing yourself.  

A lot of us look forward to Ramadan for certain reasons, especially because it’s a very communal experience. I think the best way to keep that up throughout the year is replicating those experiences. Even with COVID, it’s still possible. Find that group of friends, even if it’s just your family, to create that experience outside of Ramadan. It’s really about replicating that experience, and having the opportunity to create new goals and follow-up with goals together. That way, when you have those lows, you have someone you can fall back on for that extra push to keep going.

Question: Can you tell us a little about Yaqeen Institute and how the average person can benefit from the content you are putting out? 

What we’re trying to do at Yaqeen is break down tough topics and questions in a way that allows you, as an individual, as a Muslim, as someone who wants to practice Islam more, to have access to those answers to grow in different ways. A lot of times, when you feel like you don’t know how to prove God exists, or you don’t understand an act of worship, or many of the other topics we deal with, it’s really hard for you to move forward. You’re held back by constantly thinking about these questions, not being able to focus on being your best self. By having access to the answers, rather than having an internal fight, or an external one,  like when someone asks you a question and you don’t know the answer, you’re able to focus on what’s more important. 

We have something called Conviction Circles, where you basically team up with a bunch of friends, colleagues, or classmates and read the publications together. We provide questions, training videos, and access to live instructors so you can make sense of the content, both in terms of answering questions and looking forward to the next step.
 

1. A voluntary, recommended prayer. See: https://muslimmatters.org/2016/11/04/the-amazing-virtues-of-duha-prayer/

2. Sahih al-Bukhari 6464: https://sunnah.com/bukhari/81/53

3. Sahih al-Bukhari 1899: https://sunnah.com/bukhari:1899

4. Qur’an 3:135-136: https://quran.com/3/135-136